Train Wreck
by Enthusiastic Fish
Summary: Kibbs oneshot written for the NFA 2013 WEE. It's set at the end of the season 2 episode Heart Break. When you see a train wreck coming, you want to look away...but you can't.


**A/N:** This was written as a backup story for the NFA 2013 WEE. It's a Kibbs oneshot, which I'd never attempted before. :) It's set after the season 2 episode _Heart Break_.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS and I'm making no money off this story. The recognizable dialogue is the property of the NCIS franchise.

* * *

**Train Wreck  
**by Enthusiastic Fish

"_I killed an innocent man, Gibbs!"_

"_It was suicide by cop. Get over it. We focused on the wrong guy."_

Get over it. As if it was that easy. As if it would be that easy for Gibbs had he been the one to pull the trigger.

Killing a young man who was disturbed but innocent.

She replayed those moments over and over in her head, trying to see the moment at which she could have stopped it from happening.

It was like a train wreck. You could see it coming and wanted to stop it but you couldn't. You wanted to look away but you couldn't. Death barreling down the tracks with no way of stopping it.

Kate walked into Autopsy and slowly approached the autopsy drawers. She opened the one holding Ensign Hayes and pulled out the drawer. In death, he was just a young man. No indication of the suspicion of murder. No indication of his inner turmoil, his conflict with his father. There was nothing but a young man.

A young man she had killed.

Kate sighed.

And Gibbs had said nothing. Not one word...except to tell her to get over it.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"...I have two tickets to the opera tonight. She was going to accompany me. Jethro?"

"No," Gibbs said emphatically.

"I wonder if Kate would be interested," he said and then turned to Tony. "Do you know where she is?"

"No," Tony said.

There was a hint of something in his voice that made Gibbs focus on the conversation.

"When was the last time you saw her?" he asked.

"Not for a while, Boss," Tony said. "She wasn't really interested in having company."

"Understandable," Ducky said. "Taking another person's life is never going to be easy, and in this case...an innocent, albeit troubled, young man." He sighed. "I don't blame her for being extraordinarily upset."

"Yeah," Tony said. "Paula wasn't happy about it all, either. Actually...I think I'll see if I can track her down."

"So you're not interested in the opera, either?" Ducky asked.

Tony laughed. "Not my thing, Ducky."

"I suppose. Perhaps Abigail would allow herself to experience true artistry instead of that noise in her lab."

Tony raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, I know. Unlikely. One can but try."

Ducky headed down to Abby's lab. Tony didn't move and Gibbs could feel his eyes on him while he checked his computer.

"You still here, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Nope. I'm gone, Boss."

Tony headed for the exit.

Once he was alone, Gibbs sat back and considered what had been said. Kate hadn't left yet, but she certainly wasn't anywhere around up here. Given how dramatic Kate could be, he could think of a few places she might be.

He walked down to Autopsy and stopped in front of the doors. If Kate was in there, that meant he was right...but what was he going to say?

He decided that he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

He stepped forward and the doors opened.

Kate turned around and looked at him. She didn't look happy to see him there.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs, but I'm not over it," she said and started to walk by him.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, but she stopped before she walked through the doors. They opened and then closed as she turned around and faced him.

"Actually, Gibbs, I'm _not_ sorry. I'm not over it. I killed the man lying on that slab and that is not something that anyone just _gets over_. _You_ wouldn't just get over it. In fact, you wouldn't just get over it if you happened to be present when someone was killed and you didn't stop it. So don't tell me to get over it! I'm not and it's not going to be that easy."

She started to walk away again and the doors opened again. Then, she turned back and the doors closed.

"How could you, Gibbs? How could you say that when you know that it's impossible?"

Gibbs still didn't speak. Usually, he didn't speak because he wanted to let people say what they had to say without any influence from him, but here...he felt strangely unable to reply to Kate. He wasn't sure exactly why.

Kate waited for an answer and didn't get one. She walked over to the drawer, carefully returned Ensign Hayes to his place, and then, she headed for the door again.

The doors opened.

"Kate. Wait."

She turned back and the doors closed.

"What, Gibbs?"

Again, Gibbs felt at a loss for words. He thought about it and decided that this wasn't the place to talk.

"Come with me."

"Where? And why would I do that?"

"Just come."

Kate looked Gibbs in the eye, searching for a reason, maybe? For any falsity?

"All right."

Inwardly, Gibbs was relieved. He led her out of NCIS. She said nothing as she followed him out and got in his car. He was surprised, but he didn't speak, either. He just drove home.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Kate wasn't sure why she'd agreed to come with Gibbs wherever they were going, but when they pulled up in front of his house, she was surprised at their destination.

"What are we doing here, Gibbs?"

"Come on."

They got out of the car and Kate followed Gibbs inside...and down to the basement.

"What are we doing here?" Kate asked again.

"Autopsy isn't a good place to talk," Gibbs said.

Kate forced a laugh.

"You don't _talk_, Gibbs. You order or else you say almost nothing."

"You're right."

"I am? About what?"

"I wouldn't just get over it."

"Then, why tell _me_?" Kate demanded. "Why tell me that I should get over something you wouldn't?"

"We needed to solve the case."

"Yes, we did, but you couldn't take two seconds to talk about it instead of taking those two seconds to tell me I should get over it? Really? Is it really that unimportant?"

There was a silence. Kate wasn't really surprised about that. What _did_ surprise her was Gibbs' awkward expression.

"I'm not trying to be difficult, Gibbs. Really, I'm not...and I'm not trying to be girly. I'm just trying to understand why your reaction to a situation that _you_ would have had trouble with was to completely dismiss what I was dealing with. I killed Ensign Hayes...and he was innocent. Suicide-by-cop or not, that's something I'm going to have to live with." She felt her throat tighten a little bit and she swallowed quickly. "Standing here in your basement instead of in Autopsy isn't going to change that."

Kate sighed and sat down on the steps.

"Nothing is going to change that, Gibbs."

She stared at the floor.

"Nothing can change that."

There was a long silence. Then, she heard Gibbs' footsteps coming toward her. She looked up and Gibbs gestured for her to slide over. There was just barely space for the two of them on the step and so he sat on a lower step. Since he was significantly taller than she was, that didn't make much of a difference.

"I'm sorry, Kate," he said softly.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

After more than a year of knowing Gibbs, seeing him sound so sincere was kind of a shock. Gibbs so rarely showed any emotion besides anger. He wasn't playful...and he certainly didn't feel any emotion so human as regret. She wasn't really sure how to respond. Everything she thought she knew about Gibbs was being challenged with those two little words.

"I thought you said apologies were a sign of weakness."

"They are."

"And?"

Gibbs turned and looked at her with an expression she couldn't identify...or maybe she could, but she certainly didn't think she was right, not with it being _Gibbs_ expressing it.

"And I agree with you. They _are_ a sign of weakness. I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"If so, then, why are you showing it to me?"

"Sometimes, it's better that way."

"Why?"

Gibbs wasn't looking away and Kate found that she couldn't, either. Another train wreck, only this time, she wasn't sure what was coming, what kind of collision. A head-on collision? Or a quick glancing blow, saved at the last minute? Either way, she couldn't look away. Something was coming here and she didn't think she could avoid it.

...and she wasn't sure she _wanted_ to.

Gibbs could never be accused of saying too much. He put out his hand toward her.

"Sometimes, you have to be open," he said.

"Gibbs..."

"You were right, Kate. You deserved better."

"Then, why?"

"I treat you differently."

"Do you?"

"No head slaps."

Kate smiled a little.

"You'd only get away with that once."

Gibbs smiled, too.

"So...if you treat me differently, why is that?"

"You're female."

Kate bristled a little.

"It's not because you're not capable, Kate. So simmer down."

"Okay?"

"I'm old school, Kate. That's not gonna change."

"Am I supposed to be flattered?" Kate asked.

"Your choice."

"Why are you telling me this?"

His hand was still there.

The train wreck was getting closer.

"Kate...I think of you differently and I didn't want the others to know."

"How do you think of me?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow and Kate felt her cheeks getting warm. How could he do that without saying a word?

"Kate."

Gibbs turned to face her, and she could see the twinkle in his eye that told her he knew how surprised she was.

But she could also see sincerity in his eyes.

"I have a rule about this," he said, his voice still soft.

"You do?"

"You've already learned it."

"I have?"

"Yes."

"What rule is that?" Kate asked.

"Never date a coworker."

The warmth in her cheeks burst into outright flames.

"I wasn't aware we were dating," Kate said, forcing herself to sound calm.

...even as the speed of the trains neared the speed of light.

"We're not."

He was so close to her, and yet, Kate knew that if she said the word it would stop. Gibbs had no intention of forcing anything on her. He was making a move because that's the way he worked. He would never wait for someone else to do something about it. ...but she had the power to say no.

She didn't say a word.

"Yet," he added, softly.

He was closer than ever.

Was she going to let this collision happen?

"And...if we do?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He smiled.

"I won't tell."

"Neither will I."

He leaned in.

The trains collided.

They kissed.

After a few seconds, they pulled apart.

"Wow," Kate said with a lopsided smile.

Gibbs' smile grew wider.

"That's what they all say."

Kate couldn't help it. She laughed, remembering when he'd said that before. Then, she forced herself to be stern.

"Gibbs..."

"What?"

"If this is just a lame attempt to make me feel better..."

Gibbs kissed her again. Kate felt herself melting. The kiss ended too soon.

"I never just make people feel better," he said.

"You sure of that?" Kate asked.

"Positive."

"Okay."

She kissed him.

They drew apart again.

"You'd better not be playing around, Gibbs. I won't stand for it," she said.

"I'm not."

"Okay. Can we get off the stairs, then? They're digging into my back."

Gibbs stood up and held out his hand again. Kate took it and let him pull her to her feet. He didn't let go. Instead, he pulled her close.

"I mean it, Kate."

"So do I."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

_Two days later..._

Kate walked into NCIS and sat down at her desk.

"Well, aren't we chipper this morning," Tony said.

"What are you talking about, Tony?" Kate asked.

"You're grinning like the Cheshire Cat," he said and demonstrated.

Kate laughed. "I am not."

"I guess we found some way to help ourselves feel better, did we?"

"Last I checked, you and I were not one unit, Tony," Kate said.

"Come on, Kate! Give!"

"Not a chance, DiNozzo."

"It's Dwayne, isn't it. That guy you were dating last year."

"Nope. It's Gibbs."

Tony gaped at her for a moment and then he guffawed.

"You really had me for a second there, Kate. Nice one."

Kate just smiled and got to work. She'd been taught a new rule. Number four.

_The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person – if you must. There is no third best._

Two people knew about it. That's how it would stay.

Gibbs came in, barking out orders as usual, but he stopped for a just a moment and looked at her, conveying so much without a word.

It was the quietest train wreck in history.

FINIS!


End file.
